We previously broke down how to set boundaries in episode 11, let's take it back a step and talk about when and why...
Episode Highlights:
1. Ingredients of a boundary: Clear, Assertive, Relevant, Explicit
2. When to set boundaries - when repeated interactions result in negative emotions (being unloveable, resentful, defeated, guilty, taken advantage of)
- Leave you feeling dysregulated - outside of window of tolerance of emotion (move into fight, flight, or freeze and appease)
- When I interact with ___, do I walk away feeling energized/positive/supported or discomforted/dis-eased/dysregulated?
- Usually with people closest to us
3. Why set boundaries?
- To establish and maintain healthy relationships and gives opportunities for change and growth
- Comes out of structure, boundaries, clear communication, and respect
- Be mindful of the reaction - can this person hear you? Respect you? Follow through?
4. CARE acronym
- Clear - say what you mean, elaborate
- Assertive - be heard, repeat it again if needed
- Relevant - real, loving, compassionate, generous
- Explicit - be bold, be honest, teach them what you need and who you are
Call to action: Pay close attention to your interpersonal relationships, how you feel when you engage with them.. Do you need to set any boundaries?
Direct Impact with Andrea Epting Powered by Lightning in a Bottle (LIAB)
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Andrea is a Licensed Professional Counselor, Masters Addiction Counselor, and Certified Sex Therapist
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